Tag: god

Sometimes things are a matter of perspective, but oppressing the human spirit is always a losing proposition.

by kendunning, posted in Building our future., Community, Economics, Mental Health, Oppression, Politics, Psychology, Spirituality, Sustainability
(c) mrdoggs http://www.fotosearch.com

There has been a lot in the news the past few months about the Epstein files, Pizzagate and other similar tales of sordid human abuse and trafficking along with the apparent connection between these things and an unspecified number of the wealthy and politically powerful people in the world. It can make one wonder why people who have so much would engage in such horrible activities. The beginning of this post is addressing one logical connection from a psychological perspective.

Sometimes things are a matter of perspective.  For instance, to someone who has been taught, one way or another, to be afraid of the world, afraid of the natural processes in the world, afraid of the other people in the world, it might seem the most natural thing on Earth to strive to accumulate as much wealth and power, to try to control everything it is possible, in order to protect oneself from the threat of, well, “the other”.   From such a perspective empathy, compassion, sympathy, or pity toward the general population of the world may well seem to be feelings and thoughts to be strictly avoided.  Anything that opens a person up to “them”; the dangerous masses which they perceive as a blight on the Earth, or as waiting outside the gate to swarm them, to take what they have, one way or another, acquired; makes the general population of the world something to be held in contempt, feared, and any feelings of empathy or compassion toward the general population a disease to inoculate themselves against.  This logic tends to lead things toward to a self-fulfilling prophecy which only escalates the division, contempt and fear which now builds on both sides of the great imbalance.

How does one inoculate themself against essentail, life oriented human emotions?  How can such a hardened shell be built?  Further, how can such an inhuman condition be maintained? We know, and can see in the behavior of healthy infants that he feelings of empathy, compassion, sympathy are some of the most innate, natural emotions for humans, It can even be said that the development of these emotions is a significant part of what differentiates us from many other species. However, the solution to this dilemma is one that humanity has seen in world time and time again, war after war.  The answer is trauma.  Experiencing repeated, profound trauma; emotional, psychological, physical and/or chemical trauma, either acutely or chronically, and it can cause the physiology of such human emotions to experience shut down..  This is not uncommon among soldiers coming home from prolonged or extreme combat situations. Today one name that assign to such numbing or cut off from one’s emotions is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. 

If, deep down inside, you have not been taught, by instruction or experience, to be fearful of the general population. If you are someone who has experienced love, caring and being cared for, these are feelings that a healthy person doesn’t want to lose the ability to feel. A healthy person wants to freely care about others and be cared about in return.  Victims of PTSD seek treatment.  Seek to get back in touch with feelings of empathy, compassion and love. They seek to get back in touch with the blessing of calm serenity down deep in their soul. 

But what if a person can’t remember ever knowing those feelings? What if they have been so traumatized, or otherwise injured, by psychological, emotional, physical and or chemical abuse at an early age? Or even prenatally (such as with prenatal alcohol exposure), that they have been incapable of feeling empathy or compassion as long as they can remember? Would people who have been living in a sub-culture which holds empathy and compassion for the general population in contempt actually go so far as to engage in behaviors, even rituals, to emotionally and psychologically cutoff themselves and/or their offspring from these emotions? There is significant evidence that they not only would, but that this is not all that uncommon in some of the most avaricious individuals and organizations in the world. I know this is hard for many people to believe; people who love their children and the children of their neighbors. It certainly is distasteful and something that many people, if not most, do not want to contemplate.

That, by the way, is a protective factor for those engaging in such inhuman treatment of their own children and too often the children of others. A strong aversion or resistance on the part of people in the general population to seeing, hearing about, or thinking about such behaviors provides the perpetrators with a kind of invisibility. Healthy people who do not want to contemplate such aberration seem quick to accept that any allegations of such behavior is a fabrication of people who themselves must be psychologically disturbed.

But if a person is someone who is seeking a state which allows them to have sufficient psychological and emotional comfort while engaging in inhuman behaviors toward others, then they don’t seek treatment for the lack of experiencing empathy and compassion. Quite the contrary, they go to sometimes great efforts to seek, establish, reinforce and maintain it.  They seek out ways to inflict the emotionally disabling effects of PTSD upon themselves. One way is expose themselves to other people’s trauma.  Vicarious traumatization can inflict the same effects as first-hand trauma. Also, it is less life threatening. How does one expose themselves to such experiences of other people experiencing trauma?  Today it isn’t all that hard to find both fictional and actual written accounts and photos as well as audio and video recordings of people experiencing trauma.  There are movies, books, and documentaries which show the horrors that exist through either natural disasters, or more often by human beings committing inhuman acts toward other human beings.  Video footage from wars or videos of people who are in the process of experiencing a violent, cruel death in other ways. There are even “underground” film makers who plan and produce such films. These are all resources that assist to emotionally/psychologically and spiritually numb a person to the natural human reactions to suffering and death.  The literature informs us that watching children experience such horrible abuses can hold even a higher degree of sought after trauma than watching adults go through them. Reportedly, this is because children’s emotions are purer, more intense.  A healthy human being feels an affinity, a natural, protective feeling toward children.  But if you’re someone seeking to make yourself into someone devoid of such affinity for people in general, caring about children is just one more avenue of unwanted emotional access to your mind, your feelings. 

It seems that just as with building tolerance with a drug addiction, vicarious traumatization isn’t enough after a while.  Like a drug addict with increasing tolerance, the person needs more intensity in the traumatic realities that they are witnessing. What is known about this phenomenon informs us that some find themselves moving on to the real thing.  Another thing that we can know from the literature on human spirituality and sometimes by our own experiences, is that the positive aspects of the human spirit can be very resilient. To a mentally, emotionally healthy person this resilience of feelings such as love, empathy, caring, is indicative of the beauty of the human spirit.   But to someone seeking to not feel those aspects of the human spirit this natural resilience must seem something like the recurrence of disease. Such feelings are contrary to being able to abuse others, to take from others the things that others need to sustain their lives.  For some, if not all, abusers, there is reportedly a measure of perverted satisfaction the person also takes from inflicting mental/emotional/spiritual or economic suffering upon others. There is a likelihood that people who are participating in inflicting such horrors and abuses upon others are sometimes members of families or other groups who have been engaging in such behaviors over many generations. Lineages of people who have been honing, and profiting from, their ability to act inhumanly toward others.

We are all social beings, it is a deeply rooted part of being human. Why would it be any different for even the most ego driven, spiritually perverted, among us?  We know individuals engaging in such abusive, heinous behaviors sometimes (often?) form groups; cabals, covens, (corporations?) whatever name they have found that most satisfies the needs of their egos.  Together they engage in such behaviors, sometimes making a ritual out of it. Some have a desire for elaborate settings and costumes in their efforts. I assume this partially serves to convince themselves that they are doing something more sophisticated than the grotesque, inhuman perversions are engaging in.  Often it seems wealth and power are significant aspects of their goals.  Wealth and power can become a narcotic. One which is used to soothe the pain of the emptiness which results from being divorced from the true, ultimately inescapable, essential human spiritual reality.  The knowledge of the fact that there is a pervasive human spiritual reality, that it encompasses all people and has love, mutuality empathy and compassion as integral aspects of it, is an aspect of our reality that those who engage in such horrific behaviors have somehow had inadequate introduction and/or education in. As for the innate awareness of our spiritual reality which all have to some degree, it is this which the abusive behaviors, the rituals, are effective in obfuscating. In the 1960s “Do your own thing.” became a popular phrase. A wise woman who I had the privilege of knowing shared with me the perspective that the phrase is ridiculously unnecessary. Why? Because: try to stop doing your own thing. None of us can, it is as impossible as a thing can be. Likewise, ultimately, we can never separate ourselves from the universal creative spirit that we are all a part of and dwell within.

That is a part of the tragedy accompanying those who are engaging in inhuman activities toward others. Ultimately they are going to have to deal with fully realizing and reconciling those activities as beings within and part of the Divine Creative Spirit. We sometimes can judge ourselves more harshly than others might. What about when the offenses are as grievous as those referred to previously? I think it was with full realization of this that, when experiencing horrible torture and abuse on the cross, Jesus prayed to God and asked: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Today we are facing a world in which people have the free will to engage in denial, contempt for, and perversion of our innate spiritual reality. It’s almost as if two separate realities have emerged: the reality of the predators (abusers) and the reality of those being preyed upon. But to see these two aspects of the socio/economic reality of our world as separate realities is an illusion. It is all taking place within the reality of the Divine Creative Spirit and the laws of our spiritual reality will always ultimately assert themselves. In the meantime, how do we as human beings trying to successfully have lives within this reality deal with such heinous offenses against the minds, bodies and spirits of our brothers and sisters?

One obstacle we face in any efforts to curtail or remedy the occurrances of predatory abuse taking place is the those who are the most “successful” (at what are ultimately suicidally destructive predatory/parasitic behaviors) have realized the need to maintain public personas that inspire respect, sometimes even admiration. In part this is defensive camoflage, but it also is often necessary for abusers to put in place to be able to access their victims or the positions of power they need to carry out their abusive schemes.  History shows us though that sooner or later awareness of the reality around the abuses taking place, abuses experienced by the target popuations and their loved ones begins to grow. When this happens whatever illusions the predatory abusers have put in place to try to conceal their true practices are gradually seen through.   Oppression of the human spirit is a losing proposition. 

 We can see that process taking place in some of the major societal upheavals of the past two hundred and fifty years. The American revolution, the French revolution, the Communist revolutions in Russia, China and Cuba and many more are some extreme examples of what can happen when an abused population becomes activated against the abuse and abusers.  However, we can also learn from these events that the revolutionaries in all these cases themselves were not immune from the sickness of mind and spirit which had so pervaded those who they were rebelling against. It’s not that revolutions with just causes always result in a new, more equitable, enduring better world.  What we can learn from these events is that regrettably, too often put in a position to be able to see a way to grab them, human beings are too often all too quick to be infected with a lust for wealth and power.  Too often a repeat of the culture of “haves” and “have nots” is what emerges and the cycle begins again. 

This is something that has happened so often in human history one might believe that it is an inescapable human failing.  It isn’t.  One criterion that is always in place when such repetition occurs is that the people involved are ignorant enough of the true nature of our spiritual reality that they are susceptible to becoming overly enamored of the enticements of material pleasures.  It’s not that material pleasures are categorically bad or evil, they aren’t.  But just as an individual can overindulge in the pleasures of life and lose sight of taking care of their spiritual and physical health in the process, the same can happen with groups of people, with cultures. The mindset, the spiritual disease, of craving unlimited acquisition without proper regard for the wellbeing of others can be as contagious as any physical disease that there is.  As we can see by conditions in the world today, it can become a pandemic which infects even the people who are most negatively affected by it.  It shouldn’t be too surprising though, the predators actively seek to encourage a “prey aspiring to predator”, attitude among the general population.  They use the media to portray extravagant wealth as the key to a happy life, the key to heaven on Earth.  They want the general population to envy them, idolize them, to want to emulate them. To be infected with an obsession with materialism.  They desire that the general population be perpetually blinded to the reality that there is any other way. Particularly a way that nourishes and sustains the life and spirit of all who work at it. A way that does not require inhumanly preying upon the lives of others in order to truly enjoy the wonders, the blessings of life on this planet.    

It is such a profound truth that it bears repeating:  Oppression of the human spirit is a losing proposition. Ultimately that is true for every person on Earth or anywhere else.  A human spirit may be crushed, but like what looks like dead, dry grass after a drought, give it some love and care and it will spring back, vibrant, vital, dynamic. If, by design or default, you work at oppressing others, you are working toward your own eventual demise.  If you are successful at oppressing others you are defeating yourself because the actions involved in the acquisition of extravagant wealth do not honor nor uphold the true conditions of our spiritual reality.  You are not honoring your own spiritual reality. We are all interconnected and ultimately the quality of our future, of anyone’s future, is tied to the quality of everyone’s future.

The illusion that the material world is all that there is, is often the jumping off place to engaging in all manner of behaviors offensive to and counterproductive of a healthy spirit.  There are people who believe that when it comes to spirituality, we are physical beings who are maybe, or maybe not, in search of a spiritual aspect to our lives.  That is exactly the opposite of our reality!  We are spiritual beings who are incarnated in an effort to establish a physical reality for ourselves.  Why?  If for no other reason because it can be very enjoyable.  But to, by design or default, tacitly agree to accept suffering tomorrow for some pleasure today is an idiot’s bargain.  Especially when it is unnecessary.  With wisdom and proper regard for one another we can have heaven on Earth without putting the wheels in motion to have to suffer farther “down the road”.  All it takes is some wisdom, maturity, humility, occasionally patience, and the willingness to put in the work. The mental and physical work to make it a reality.  It doesn’t even require slaving away to put the work in. It just requires including putting some work in conscientiously and regularly.  As Jesus said: “My yoke is light and my burden is easy.”  He wasn’t talking about a yoke we put on to serve him.  He is referring to the yoke we put on, as he did, to righteously work within our divine spiritual reality. To truly be doing the best for our own happiness and wellbeing. Part of our task is that we do have to put in the work to get to know ourselves, our spiritual reality, as well as our physical reality (which is a creation of our spiritual reality). 

We have to realize that we must speak and honor truth, always.  We need to recognize and embrace the central role that love occupies in a healthy spiritual reality. No more half-truths and manipulative myths.  It also includes educating ourselves around what keeps us physically healthy (because our body is our temple).  Overindulging, as a habit, doesn’t work to keep us healthy.  Think of it as we’re working to learn how to live with enough awareness and love to prevent the heaven we occupy from becoming a hell.  At this point in time, it is not hard to see that we haven’t been doing the best job of it. Especially when we realize that we are our brother’s, and sister’s, keepers.

(c) Alex Max, http://www.fotosearch.com

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Feeling overwhelmed with what the world is throwing at you? Don’t let all the “noise” cheat you from claiming your spiritual reality.

by kendunning, posted in Gratitude, Health, Law, Metaphysics, Personal Development, Spirituality

     Due to the internet and the speed of communication we are experiencing today, the average person is exposed to information regarding scientific breakthroughs, discoveries in our natural world, and innovations in myriad technologies at an unprecedented pace.  Sounds wonderful, right?  Not necessarily.  Our brains, our nervous systems, our thought processes have evolved over millennia experiencing, for the most part, a much slower pace of new information.   For all of our recorded history, until the past century, give or take a few years, there might well be months, years or decades between the news of one major advancement in our knowledge affecting an important area of our lives and the next.  Today, depending upon the websites one visits, new bits of potentially life changing information can be coming at us much faster than a human mind can begin to take it in, much less assimilate the meaning of it all.  It can be traumatic, and for many it is. 

     How do we cope with this reality?  For some the way is to ignore it. No doubt all of us have to pick and choose what we take in, or not.  Yet all of us are faced with a world in which, like it or not, changes are happening which will affect our lives.  Somewhere there are people paying attention to and working with all the information which we may choose to overlook.  Not because we’re incapable people, it’s because a person can only handle so much.  Where does that leave us? It means, ideally, we have to be able to trust that those advancing one potentially life changing area of our culture, our world, are going to be doing so in good faith with the rest of us.  Ideally those controlling all the various areas of development and change are working to be of service to human kind, not to exploit us. 

     But that is not always the case, in fact it, too often exploiting us seems to exactly be the goal.  All this at a time when corruption, lies, and exploitation of “the masses” is also happening at an unprecedented rate.  Part of what this reality reveals is that we have allowed morals and ethics, empathy, and love to fall to the wayside too often.  Exploiting others has become a culturally acceptable business model.  In terms of technology, commerce, ethics, and human wellbeing, it is something of a “perfect storm”. 

     Can we face and find solutions for this current, unhealthy reality which will not only allow us to survive it, but to nurture our humanity and our communities in the process?

     Some of the “fixes” being promoted at this time are as problematic, and as subject to exploitation, as the problems they are claiming to be remedies for.   One of the “fixes” we see some working at is censorship.  Often those engaging in it say their goal is to prevent “misinformation”.  The fact is censorship all too easily just leads to one group or another having the exclusive ability to ensure that only the “information”, truth or lies, that furthers their agenda is allowed in the media . 

     Coming to the truth of a controversial matter can be compared to grinding grain into flour.  It requires at least two opposing perspectives presenting point and counterpoint until what emerges is a hardy, vital perspective that has stood up to intense scrutiny.  Without that, what one tends to have is a single “story” which is not the complete story.  So many of the issues which breed controversial “conspiracy theories” are issues around which honest and open public debate, public scrutiny, has not been allowed to take place.  Such situations always involve the application of censorship by some people with particular interests that are working to control the public perception of the issue.  Censorship is all too easily not a solution, just another problem.

     Another proposed “fix” that is getting more attention is the idea of neural implants.  This is what I would call the “Frankenstein solution”.  It goes something like this:  meld a computer chip into a human brain and the person will have instant access to all the information on the internet.  Where to start on everything that can go wrong with this?  To begin with, as noted above, our minds, our nervous systems, have not evolved to work in such a manner.   You know those scenes in the movie “The Matrix” where Neo sits in the chair, a cable is plugged into his brain/nervous system, and he all but instantaneously is the happy recipient of encyclopedic knowledge of something or the other?  Maybe martial arts, maybe how to fly a helicopter.

    What would happen in real life is that the subject (more the victim), if they lived, would be catatonic, zombified.  Someone would have to feed them and bathe them for decades, if not the rest of their “life”.

    To use another movie metaphor, it would be something like the scene in the Indiana Jones movie “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” in which the Russian psychic wants the aliens to psychically give “it all” to her.  All the knowledge that they possess.  When the aliens comply with her wishes, after being momentarily in awe of what she is receiving, she quickly is traumatized and ultimately goes up in flames. The flames part is good theatrics, I doubt but I really don’t know, if that would happen or not.  Keep in mind that there is energy involved. 

    What is notable about both of these “solutions” regarding the increasing exposure to information which we face in the world is that both of them tend to disregard the physiological/psychological/spiritual human reality which they propose to address.  Neither of them takes into consideration the individual human reality nor the collective human reality; which is the context for every individual human reality. 

   We humans aren’t designed to be high speed data processors which then assimilate the data into our biological functioning.  I want to make clear that phrase is not intended to minimize or denigrate what we are.  We are miraculous beings with miraculous capabilities.  Capabilities which precious few, if any, national cultures, religions, or, need I mention corporations, take fully into consideration.  Before we start trying to augment or “fix” what we are, perhaps we should first be putting more time and effort into finding out what that really is? 

    Possibly the main reason we don’t know more about what we are, is that somewhere in the past few decades, or centuries, human cultures have become largely fixated on the physical, corporeal, aspects of our lives.  We have reaped some significant rewards due to that focus.  I venture every person on Earth benefits from it in some way.  However, we have paid a dear price in the process.  The price of simultaneously largely ignoring the innate spiritual/energy aspect of our lives. 

     At some point in the past two millennia human civilization has reached a critical point in development where the levels of complexity in many different disciplines require developed societies to recognize the need for  specializations.  People began creating different professional/vocational specialties and those working within these specialties began being seen as the ones who could “take care of it”, whatever “it” is.  That trend included the need for specialists in technology, medicine, education and many other areas.  In Western civilization, the established religions of the day were all too happy to don that cloak relative to our “immortal soul”.  With identifiable variations to differentiate their “brand”, the primarily Catholic, Protestant and Islamic religions began worldwide, intensive recruitment into their respective congregations. 

     By this time however, the leaders of the religious movements knew well that what was going on involved more than the common person’s spiritual health and wellbeing.  Religious establishments are often accorded a great deal of trust by the people who subscribed to their particular doctrines.  That trust often enables the leaders of the various denominations and even individual churches, to sway people’s opinions on political issues as well.  Also people routinely trust the churches to employ wise and honest stewardship with the sometimes sizable monetary donations given to them.  Sometimes the trust (to do the right thing) members of the various congregations bestow on their religious leaders is honored, and good things take place.  Sometimes not so much. 

    Through the centuries an interesting phenomenon began to emerge in the Western religions until by the mid-twentieth century, it was pervasive throughout the United States and I believe large parts of Europe as well.  Getting to know and appreciate the fullness of one’s spiritual existence and all the miraculous aspects which it includes and involves, became greatly simplified down to what I am going to call simply “spiritual hygiene”.  I do not know if this happened by design or default, regardless, it fit in quite well with the pervasive, ongoing increase in focus on the material world. 

     It’s my understanding that in India, the “norm” within those inclined to pursue a spiritual path is that younger men work to provide for their families, and older men have the ability to spend much time, if they desire, upon spiritual studies.  The religious traditions which exist in India can get quite in depth regarding the nature of our spiritual reality.  I know enough to know that is a true statement.  An hour or two a week singing, listening to a sermon or engaging in a group discussion could barely scratch the surface of the knowledge that exists. This is not just true of some Indian religions, also of some other Eastern religions, and some Western religious traditions as well.  It can be easy to lose sight of the fact that the Western religious traditions may involve more than a crucifixion and a resurrection.

    I brought up the “norm” which I referenced above in an attempt to illustrate that if one chooses to enter into an in-depth exploration and study of our spiritual reality, it can be disruptive of any efforts to fit into the highly competitive, money oriented, working world which many, if not most, working people in the world face today.  Or vice-versa.  So having a national religious model which stays relatively superficial in terms of knowledge of our spiritual reality is harmonious with people spending most of their time and energy pursuing wealth, promotions, and material acquisitions.  It provides a pacifying illusion that one is taking care of their spiritual wellbeing while primarily freeing peoples’ minds to engage in commerce.  The problem is, we in the United States have been being taught this “Readers Digest condensed version” of our spiritual reality for so long, too many have lost sight of the fact that there is anything more.  And there is a lot more.

     One dismaying reality, an obstacle really, which many people in the United States face in both wanting to move deeper into understanding our spiritual reality is that spiritual phenomena are often demonized within the narrow understanding of this reality that many in positions of influence within churches and our culture put forward.  Ghosts (unincarnated spirits), telepathy, remote viewing, astral travel, spiritually affecting events in the world, even closely sharing spiritual experiences with someone else, energy healing, all of these things, these aspects of our natural, innate, beautiful spiritual reality have been demonized at some time or another. I venture they are being demonized somewhere as I write this.  So, if you’re a person wondering about whether or not to follow an interest further in learning about our spiritual reality, not only can you run into some difficulty in finding sound guidance, you may also experience some people trying to dissuade you from doing so!

     There is a phrase used in computer programming:  “garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO).  I find this phrase can be generalized to some other areas of our lives as well.  I think the study of our spiritual reality is one of these areas.  If within yourself you are bringing garbage motives to the endeavor, motives like a lust for power, for manipulating or controlling others, for vast wealth, for self-aggrandizement, while you may have some degree of success in your search, you will ultimately be contributing to some undesired results taking place.  If you enter into your search desiring to know more about yourself, your spiritual reality in order to be more whole, more healthy, more centered and grounded in your life, to experience your relationship with the Divine Creative Spirit, God, more fully, then I think you’ll be forever grateful that you chose this path.  Not that you may not experience setbacks, missteps, along the way, but if you persevere, stay centered in your motives and sound values, keep studying, you’ll find what you’re looking for and more.  With reason, love, honesty, and humility; not a false modesty, but a genuine perspective on who and what you are, of what we all are, as motives, true spiritual progress can take place. Progress which can continually provide new and valuable insights about our spiritual reality and the benefits to be gained by proper regard for it.

In summary, as a culture we have become way too enamored of our ability to understand, manipulate and exploit our material environment.  We have become imbalanced in our lives and in relationship with our natural and spiritual environment.  The answer to solving this existential crisis does not lie in more or faster manipulation and/or exploitation of our material world.  It lies in slowing down with our material pursuits, realizing that as a culture we know precious little about what we really are, about our innate spiritual heritage.  Too frequently we have become strangers to even ourselves.  The answer isn’t more religion either.  Again, it’s to enter into a serious, benevolently motivated, exploration of our deeply intimate and shared spiritual reality.  A reality that we are a part of and that we live within.  To find harmony and satisfying wellbeing within our lives, we need to understand our place within this reality.  We need to understand the ways of this reality.  And as we move forward in our understanding we will find answers and benefits beyond what we expected at the onset.  We don’t need neural implants, we just need to access and understand the spiritual heritage which has been freely given us.    

In looking for books, sources that can help you learn about our spiritual reality, some religious texts may be useful, or may not. Finding authors that speak to you, that you can relate to and whose writing helps you feel that you know more about our spiritual reality are like finding a vein of gold. Those authors may not be the same for everyone simply due to their writing style, word usage, or some particular “wrinkle” in their style.

Some authors I have benefited from are Baird T. Spaulding, Ram Dass, Alan Watts, Lobsang Rampa, Carlos Castenada, and Dr. Charles Francis Potter. This is not an exhaustive list, but may help you find some places to start!