When is the last time that you came across rebellion as a positive aspect of societal health? Or for that matter, of individual health? In truth, a healthy sense of rebelliousness is as essential an aspect of individual or societal health as is cooperation.
Parents usually don’t like it when one or more of their children become rebellious or defiant. Having spent a many years in the role of an active parent, I totally understand that perspective. You work all day. You come home and do some yard work or cook a meal. You’re tired, and all you want is to have a pleasant, relaxing evening at home. Then you make a simple request of a young person in the family. It seems completely benign. However, you’re met with a wall of defiance. What’s happening from an objective, third party perspective is that your internal agenda just conflicted with their internal agenda.
So what happens now? Conversation and negotiation? Threats and punitive actions? Or, maybe simply giving up and letting it all go. Que sera, sera. Many parents have reacted in one of these three ways. Some may have utilized a combination of two or more at some point. However, I’m quite confident. Hardly ever did a parent comment that they’re glad to see their child developing a healthy sense of rebelliousness. I’m not really pleased to have to admit it, but I never did.
What makes a healthy sense of rebelliousness a positive trait to develop? You might have already thought of the answer. It is the presence of tyranny and unjust authoritarianism in the world. Now we’re getting into the realm where some serious discussion is needed. What is tyranny and unjust authoritarianism? How do we differentiate those things from genuinely benevolent rules? Rules that are indispensable for the safe and efficient (enough) operation of a family or a society? While we can probably all think of some clear, indisputable examples of each, finding a clear line isn’t always easy. The distinction isn’t always obvious. There are variables involved.
From the point of view of the authority (parent or government) some of the variables include:
- Is the rule truly necessary for obvious public safety?
- Is the rule fair, affecting one and all equally?
- Is the rule needed to allow a necessary function to proceed unimpeded?
- Does the rule bestow inordinate benefit upon someone?
- Does the rule unjustly infringe upon the liberty of someone?
- Can the rule be enforced without undue or unjust harshness?
- Are other families or governments imposing such a rule? Why? Why not?
- Are the benefits of making the rule worth the problems it may create?
- How much input should those expected to follow the rule be given in making the rule? Why? Why not?
From the point of view of the governed (child or citizen) some of the variables include:
- Can I (a person of normal intelligence) readily understand the need for this rule?
- Is this rule fair?
- Does this rule really keep me safer or does it simply restrict my behavior?
- Is there someone benefiting from this rule at my expense?
- Does this rule prevent me from engaging in activities that are not harmful to myself nor anyone else?
- How easy is it to break this rule without getting caught?
- Are other families or governments imposing such a rule? Why? Why not?
- Is breaking the rule worth the problems doing so might create?
- Was I given the opportunity to say what I thought before this rule was made? Why? Why not?
Lastly, keep in mind that people have different developmental paths and needs. They aren’t “cookie cutter” uniform in many situations. While uniformity of rules and consequences is important, it speaks to the wisdom of not engaging in unnecessary rule making. The more the “authorities”, be they parents or a governmental body, try to micromanage the people through rules, the higher the chances that they will violate someone’s essential liberty.
These are a few of the variables. They are involved in decision making around making rules, following rules, and/or breaking rules. Bear in mind that no matter how frivolous or humorous some of these variables may seem, it’s an important topic. In some situations it’s life or death.
Rulemaking is a very serious undertaking. Rules always limit the freedom of those expected to follow them, at least to some degree. This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, one must not make rules without giving the matter due diligence and consideration. The more important question is does the rule limit the liberty (the freedom from unjust oppression) of those expected to follow them. If the answer is “yes”, the rule has no place in a civilized society.
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