When is the last time that you came across rebellion as a positive aspect of societal health? Or for that matter, of individual health? In truth, a healthy sense of rebellion is as essential an aspect of individual or societal health as is cooperation.
Parents usually don’t like it when one or more of their children become rebellious or defiant. Having spent many years in the role of an active parent, I completely understand that perspective. You work all day, you come home and do some yard work or cook a meal. You’re tired, and all you want is to have a pleasant, relaxing evening at home. Then you make a simple request of a young person in the family. It seems completely benign, however, you’re met with a wall of defiance. What’s happening from an objective, third party perspective is that your internal agenda just conflicted with their internal agenda.
So what happens now? Conversation and negotiation? Threats and punitive actions? Or, maybe simply giving up and letting it all go. Que sera, sera. Many parents have reacted in one of these three ways. Some may have used a combination of two or more at some point. However, I’m quite confident. Hardly ever did a parent comment that they’re glad to see their child developing a healthy sense of rebelliousness. I’m not really pleased to have to admit it, but I never did. Rebellion is an important and sensitive aspect of our lives.
What makes a healthy sense of rebellion a positive trait to develop? Please note the qualifying phrase “healthy sense” in that sentence. While juvenile rebellion may happen very impulsively without a lot of reason involved, that should not be the quality of rebellion we see coming from adults. As adults we’re expected to possess the faculty of reason. And, ideally, we are expected to be educating ourselves so that our reasoning is based in solid, factual reality. As we see too often in the world, that is not always the case. What we see as often as not are adults engaging in ill-informed, impulsive, egocentrically oriented acts of public defiance. This is very much in keeping with what would be more expected from juveniles, particularly adolescents. It is not healthy rebellion but destructive, often self-destructive, acting out.
One of the hallmarks of healthy rebellion is that before the rebellion takes place there is sincere, often prolonged, effort made to resolve the issues involved through discussion, negotiation. The content of those discussions and negotiations should be based in facts, reality, and sound reasoning, not simply opinion or emotional impulsivity.
First I want to make clear that by “rebellion” I am not referring to taking up arms and attacking “the other”. I am referring to rebellion by refusal. Refusal to cooperate with the ideas or behaviors which are provoking the rebellion. What are some of the reasons healthy rebellions occur in the world?
There aren’t a lot actually, maybe only two. The one that comes to most people’s minds first, I think, is the presence of tyranny and unjust authoritarianism. Now we’re getting into the realm where some serious discussion is needed. What is tyranny and unjust authoritarianism? How do we differentiate these things from genuinely benevolent rules? Rules that are indispensable for the safe and viable operation of a family or a society? While we can probably all think of some clear, indisputable examples of each, finding a clear line isn’t always easy. The distinction between necessary, positive rule making and inadvertent tyranny isn’t always obvious. There can be many variables involved.
Also, we need to keep in mind that people have developmental paths and needs that differ significantly. We aren’t a species of uniform “cookie-cutter” individuals, like ants or bees. Some people are more intellectual, some are more emotional, some are more tactile. Some need more attention, some need more reassurance, positive feedback when appropriate, or maybe a hug. While uniformity of rules and consequences is important, it can be easy for people who experience the world in one way to infringe upon the legitimate, positive, developmental paths of others if we aren’t careful. it speaks to the wisdom of not engaging in unnecessary rule making. The more those tasked with rule making, be they parents or a governmental body, try to micromanage the people through rules, the higher the chances that they will violate someone’s essential liberty. Here are some of the variables I can think of around rule making:
From the point of view of the authority (parent or government) some of the variables include:
- Is the rule truly necessary for obvious public safety?
- Is the rule fair, affecting one and all equally?
- Is the rule needed to allow a necessary function to proceed unimpeded?
- Does the rule bestow inordinate benefit upon someone?
- Does the rule unjustly infringe upon the liberty of someone?
- Can the rule be enforced?
- Are other families or governments imposing such a rule? Why or why not?
- Are the benefits of making the rule worth the problems it might create?
- How much input should those expected to follow the rule be given in making the rule? Why or why not?
From the point of view of the governed (child or citizen) some of the variables include:
- Can I (a person of normal intelligence) readily understand the need for this rule?
- Is this rule fair?
- Does this rule really keep me safer or does it simply restrict my behavior?
- Is there someone benefiting from this rule at my expense?
- Does this rule prevent me from engaging in activities that are not harmful to myself nor anyone else?
- How easy is it to break this rule?
- Are other families or governments imposing such a rule? Why or why not?
- Is breaking the rule worth the problems doing so might create?
- Was I given the opportunity to say what I thought before this rule was made? Why or why not?
These are a few of the variables. Bear in mind that no matter how frivolous or humorous some of these variables may seem, it is an important topic. In some situations the wisdom of the rules, and the resulting constraints placed upon our lives, make a very real difference in our development and our subsequent functioning as a member of society.
Rulemaking is a very serious undertaking. To a greater or lesser extent, rules always limit the freedom of those expected to follow them. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Rules are a necessary thing if we want to live within civilized, developed, communities. However, again, rules should not be made without giving the matter due diligence and consideration. Nor obviously out of an individual need to express authority or control over others. Rules exist to keep our communities safe and operating smoothly.
Possibly the most important question around rule making is whether the rule unreasonably limits the liberty (the freedom from unjust oppression) of those expected to follow them. If the answer is “yes”, then the rule has no place in a civilized society.
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